I walked through grief, confusion and despair. Nothing about my situation made sense — so I knew that the Holy Spirit was up to something. But I was not excited about contemplating a career change. Everything in my plan made perfect sense. I even convinced myself that I knew what He was up to. (Spoiler: I didn’t.)
I’ve had time to reflect and adjust.I haven’t finished grieving, but I’m at a place where I am beginning to see the wisdom of God’s plan. I can even go so far as to say that I am happy. And I am taking advantage of the new long commute into Nashville under a darkened morning sky by strengthening my voice and practicing without fear of being criticized by two lovely sons who complain that my voice is too loud, or that the exercises are just too weird. I am fully capitalizing on the energy and alertness that I feel in the evening (which is new) by writing, and practicing, and recording, and being faithful to the dream that brought us here to Nashville in the first place.
If God forced a career change to make me wake up — then I am going to pursue this calling with reckless abandon. (Okay — I am going to pursue it diligently. I am not ever reckless.)
But what I want you to know is this: whatever dream God has given you to do — whatever inkling and urge and calling you feel Him leading you towards — it matters.
Think about it this way. If there was no need for it in this world — why would He create the longing and the fire and the desire to do it?? If it didn’t matter, and wouldn’t have an impact, then why would He give you the dream?
The answer? He wouldn’t. He would give you a hobby. Something to do that you knew was purely for your own relaxation and enjoyment. Something that passes the time and releases stress and brings joy. But dreams aren’t like that. Callings aren’t calm and peaceful and relaxing.
If He is calling you, then you can already know that it matters. It matters so much more than we will ever understand!
Your voice, your experiences and the the wisdom from the live that you have lived will have an impact. Your bravery and transparency will help others walk through the hard times they never imagined they would experience. Your love for justice, that rings out from photos and articles, reminds us to think, and to remember what we are all loved, created beings by the same God. Your heart for worship, that shines through every sentence you write and lyric you sing, will prick the hearts of those on the fence and lead them to a loving Father.
Oh my friend.
It all matters. (and so do you.)